thank you

happy birthday to me! :D thanks to everyone! ang saya saya saya ko! :D

untitled

Day 2 of cleaning my room paid off, as in literally paid off! hehehe. i found 300+ pesos buried somewhere in my once trashy bedroom. ndi na siya trashy ngayon. yehessssss! ;P

Looking Back

I'm soooooooooo tired. I had my general cleaning for my whole room after million gazillion years. Haha. Worse, I am not yet done with it. Now I'm feeling my dear scolio taking its toll. Poor kat. :(

Amidst a couple of rounds of skimming and throwing papers, I got hold of some of my poems back in high school. Long-forgotten ones, if I may say. I don't really like writing poems, which I think makes me have a hard time remembering them even if they were my own. I wouldn't have given time writing poems if they weren't required. Hmmmmm.. Come to think of it, I never really did write a poem just for the sake of pleasure! I usually would just content myself reading novels or short stories, but not poems. ;P

So there, I'm posting two of my forcedly-written poems. I think I was in 2nd or 3rd yr high school back then.

Due to lack of title, I call this 'the mushy poem.'

I wished, you prayed
... we met.

I hoped, you waited
... we came along.

I smiled, you grinned
... we understood.

I listened, you talked
... we communicated.

I wrote, you sang
... we made music.

I cried, you consoled
... we got stronger.

I laughed, you chuckled
... we bonded.

I struggled, you fought
... we got braver.

I pondered, you reminisced
... we cherished.

I trusted, you cared
... we loved.

Hala, ako ba talaga nagsulat nito? Reality check. Ang corny ko pala talaga. Hehehe. Justifiable naman eh, high school pa lang ako niyan. :P

And here's the other one...

The Awakening

I am of my youth
carefree, exhuberant

But still
...worried of the struggles I'll fight
...worried of the voyage I'll take

DARKNESS...
filled my mind
scathed my insides
loathed my endeavors
prepared my pillory

Here I am,
still gaping...

LIGHT...
avenged my staleness
recovered my sanity
headed my awakening

There, at least ito medyo hindi corny. hehehe. Sleepy na ako. Baboof! :D

Wishing and Hoping

I'm turning nineteen. Not that I intend to tell the whole world that my birthday is fast-approaching. I've just come to the realization that I'll be leaving my teenage phase approximately a year after now. Hmmmm... I'm not making a big deal out of it. At the very least, I think I'm not. Even my being a long-term plan junkie doesn't seem to fit as an excuse. Note, long-term.

I've known myself to be future-oriented. Strong point, you may think. But if truth be told, I see it as a weakness. Sometimes, my strong inclination towards the future blinds me off of seeing the beautiful details I should've been giving my attention to. There are times when I get so pre-occupied of my passion that I seem to forget how to live life 'un-jaded-ly', for the lack of a better term. How ironic it is to be jaded by your own passion, isn't it?

In less than a week's time, I'm getting a year older. I'm not much of a birthday wish buff. But this time, I'm really wishing for something to happen. I wouldn't be blogging about it, though. Hehehe. Sorry for the bitin effect. Although I'm not expecting, the fact remains that yes, I'm hoping. Lord, please please plssssssss. :D

Aside from my big birthday wish, I also have a couple of little ones as presents for myself. (Disclaimer: I would still be accepting and appreciating tangible ones, so it's okay to give me some. Hehehe. ;P)

First off, I want to be successful in fathoming what is it I really want. Shux, ang broad naman ata ng sentence ko. What I'm saying is, I'll be graduating soon. Although not so soon, thing is, malapit lapit na rin yon. Up to now, I still don't know what to do after that. I don't know if I'd be studying again or I'd just be working na lang. See, I told you, I'm too pre-occupied with future stuff. Hehe. My parents want me to go to law school. Why wouldn't they want me to if their older daughter is taking a good shot at it? Haaay, ang hirap talaga kapag may kapatid kang role model. You are to be sued for this, my kapatid. Hehehe. Oh well, if I'm gonna be pursuing it, I just want to be sure that I'm doing it not just for the love of the title, but more of for world peace. Haha, labo. Kidding aside, I just want to be sure that I want it for real. :D

Next, I want to be as carefree as possible. This I would have a hard time achieving. I really, really, really envy people who can easily give in to their senses. No matter how I try to be impulsive, I just can't. Well, for the reason that being impulsive has negative connotations, I'll try to be as carefree as possible na lang. Like, I want to have the courage to drop things off for the love of short-term happiness. Hehehe. Anything won't hurt if done in moderation, I motion.

Third, I don't want to be affected by the cynicism attributed to the world. I still believe that it's beautiful. It's not that I'm being narrow- or even close-minded. Neither am I being too idealistic. Take into consideration that I'm not the kind of person who would easily agree if bombarded with strong points of view. I may not be the type who would want to argue on such matters. But still, I have my own opinions. I want to face the real world knowing that it's the best and only place to live my life to the fullest.

Last, I want to find my real happiness. :D

mr. boredom's visit

mr. boredom's visit




FIRSTS



First best friend: si jehan. childhood bestfriend! ever since nursery classmates na kami.. hehe
First car: wala. :P
First break-up: wala rin. :P
First screen name: wala eh. uhm, kat?! hehe
First self purchased album: hmmmmm.. soundtrack of romeo and juliet.. grade 3 ata ako nun.. i bought it dahil sa lovefool na song.. haha..
First funeral: my uncle's
First pets: c bluegard. dog.
First big trip: i went to cebu and back by myself when i was in highschool!
First music you remember hearing in your house: nursery rhymes??



LASTS



Last car ride: yesterday
Last kiss: wala ngang first eh. haha.
Last good cry: this week. by myself lang. i don't want crying in public. even at home, i don't like someone seeing me cry. hehe
Last movie seen: the legend of zorro
Last beverage: water
Last food consumed: vita quaker. :P
Last crush: hmmmm. bow.
Last phone call: my sis
Last time showered: kanina lang...
Last shoes worn: flip flops
Last item bought: civil code.. for my law class.. not with my own money though.. hehe



RELATIONSHIPS



Who is your very best friend: hmmmm.. ivan?? nyahaha.
Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend: wala. haha. si acads. yuck.



FASHION/STUFF



Where is your favorite place to shop: none in particular. i'm not picky.
Any tattoos or piercings: 2 piercings, no tattoo!



SPECIFICS



Do you do drugs: hmmm. stopped. hahaha. kidding. never did and never will.
What kind of shampoo do you use: for dry hair!
What are you listening to right now: tv
Where do you want to get married: catholic church with a very, very long aisle. :)
How many buddies are online right now: 7
What would you change about yourself: hmmmm.. being too shy at first.. hehe



FAVORITES



Color: black and white
Food: pinoy foods!
Boys' names: kahit ano. i like spanish-sounding names for guys. hehe.
Girls' names: sofia, jamila, alexei, etc... gusto ko may meanings.
Subjects in school: hmmmm... finance? haha.



HAVE YOU EVER



Taken a bath with someone: nung bata..
Smoked: tried once.. as in one puff lang.. never consumed a stick..
Made yourself throw up: oo. haha.
Skinny dipped: not yet
Made yourself cry to get out of trouble: ayoko nga ng umiiyak in front of people dba.. hehe
Pictured a crush naked: no
Actually seen a crush naked: no rin.
Cried when someone died: yeah.
Lied: of course.
Fallen for your best friend: no
Rejected someone: oo.. tsk.
Used someone: never..
Done something you regret: yes, of course. pero not the type na life-changing naman yung ginawa ko..



CURRENT



Clothes: now? shorts and a very, very big shirt. hehe.
Music: anything but country
Make-up: now? wala.
Favorite artist: ndi ko alam



LAST PERSON



Hugged: dunno.
You IMed: hazel



ARE YOU



Open Minded: yes, most of the time.. i think..
Arrogant: depends..
Interesting: sana. pero i think i'm not.
Moody: not quite
Hardworking: i guess.. pero i cram most of the time.. :P
Organized: how i wish!
Healthy: well.. wala akong sakit.. and i'm not a health buff
Bored: Obviously.
Responsible: a proud yes.. hehe
Angry: no.. no reason..
Sad: quite
Disappointed: yes
Hyper: no.. when i'm with my closest friends lang.. or cousins..
Trusting: Yup, sobra.
Talkative: ndi mashado
Legal: 18!



WHO DO YOU WANNA



Kill: si katie holmes. hehe.
Slap: wala naman.
Talk to online: wala for now.



WHICH IS BETTER



Coke or Pepsi: Coke, no doubt.
Flowers or candy: flowers, basta ndi yung pang funeral..
Tall or short: tall na lng
Thick or thin: neither



RANDOM



In the morning I am: sober
What do you notice on a person first: if there's one thing that UP taught me about this, dapat kilatisin ko muna if straight ba siya or not. haha. haaay.. deceiving guys.. hehe.. it's true nga ata what they said back when i was in my freshman year.. half of the UP male population aren't straight, half of that half are gays, half of that are bi's.. etc.. hehe..
Last person you danced with: can't remember.
Who makes you smile: as in one person lang? wala eh. ewan. minsan meron. minsan wala. magulo. hehe.
Who gives you a funny feeling when you see them: hs friends.. hehe.. actually ndi funny yung term.. happy.. :D
Who do you have crush on: wala now. yuck kat, get a life! hehe.
Who has a crush on you: di ko alam



DO YOU EVER



Sit on the internet all night waiting for that someone to IM you: no.. kung ayaw mo wag mo! hehe
Wish you were young: yes.. para carefree always..



NUMBER



Of times I have had my heart broken: hmmm. twice?
Of hearts I have broken: im not sure..
Of boys I've kissed: zero! hehe
Of girls I've kissed: zero forever!
Of continents I have lived in on: one!
Of cds I own: i dont know.

no title

Author unknown





My husband is an Engineer by profession, I love
him for his steady
nature, and I love the warm feeling when I lean
against his broad
shoulders.


Three years of courtship and now, two years into
marriage, I would
have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The
reasons of me
loving him before, has now transformed into the
cause of all my
restlessness.



I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive
when it comes to a
relationship and my feelings, I yearn for the
romantic moments, like
a little girl yearning for candy. My husband, is my
complete
opposite, his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of
bringing
romantic moments into our marriage has
disheartened me about love.

One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision,
that I wanted a
divorce.

"Why?" he asked, shocked.



"I am tired, there are no reasons for everything in
the world!" I
answered.



He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in
deep thought with a
lighted cigarette at all times. My feeling of
disappointment only
increased, here was a man who can't even express
his predicament,
what else can I hope from him? And finally he
asked me:" What can I
do to change your mind?"

Somebody said it right, it's hard to change a
person's personality,
and I guess, I have started losing faith in him.
Looking deep into
his eyes I slowly answered :
"Here is the question, if you can answer and
convince my heart, I
will change my mind, Let's say, I want a flower
located on the face
of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that
picking the flower
will cause your death, will you do it for me?"



He said : " I will give you your answer tomorrow...."
My hopes just sank by listening to his response.

I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and
saw a piece of
paper with his scratchy handwriting, underneath a
milk glass, on the
dining table near the front door, that goes....
My dear, "I would not pick that flower for you, but
please allow me
to explain the reasons further.."



This first line was already breaking my heart. I
continued reading.

"When you use the computer you always mess up
the Software programs,
and you cry in front of the screen, I have to save
my fingers so
that I can help to restore the programs. You
always leave the house
keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush
home to open the
door for you. You love traveling but always lose
your way in a new
city, I have to save my eyes to show you the way.
You always have
the cramps whenever your "good friend"
approaches every month, I
have to save my palms so that I can calm the
cramps in your tummy.
You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will
be infected by
infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell
you jokes and
stories to cure your boredom. You always stare at
the computer, and
that will do nothing good for your eyes, I have to
save my eyes so
that when we grow old, I can help to clip your
nails, and help to
remove those annoying white hairs. So I can also
hold your hand
while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the
sunshine and the
beautiful sand... and tell you the color of flowers,
just like the
color of the glow on your young face...
Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is
someone who loves you
more than I do... I could not pick that flower yet,
and die.. "

My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his
handwriting... and as I continue on reading... "Now,
that you have
finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied,
please open the
front door for I am standing outside bringing your
favorite bread
and fresh milk... I rush to pull open the door, and
saw his anxious
face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk
bottle and loaf of
bread....

Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as
much as he does,
and I have decided to leave the flower alone...

That's life, and love. When one is surrounded by
love, the feeling
of excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore
the true love that
lies in between the peace and dullness.

Love shows up in all forms, even very small and
cheeky forms, it has
never been a model, it could be the most dull and
boring form.. .
flowers, and romantic moments are only used and
appear on the
surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar
of true love
stands... and that's our life...



Love, not words win arguments...

if only i were

If Only I Were...







to be continued na lang this post.. hehe.. inaantok na ako! weeeeeehhh...

What's New

What's New?





hmmmm.. ang tagal na pala since my last entry.. anyway, magkkwento nlng ako.. i just had my enrollment kanina.. i got my grades.. i'm so happy kahit sabit lang for college scholar yung average ko.. i wasn't expecting naman talaga since the last semester was such a major torture.. really.. puro cramming lang ang alam ko nun.. ano pa ba.. ayun.. after 5 months, i had my haircut yesterday.. hehe.. wala naman.. the koreanang hilaw with the bangs look.. hehe.. trip lang.. nag experiment lang ako.. hmmmm... i'm excited to go to school na.. ewan ko ba.. after all my acad years, ngayon lang ako na excite.. hehe



i have to exert my effort to the nth power na talaga this coming semester.. promise.. i'll try my very, very best not to cram.. this time it's for real na talaga! swear, swear, swear! :P



i was inspired by zel's latest entry.. and i quote her,



"Gusto ko mag-graduate ng may "laude" na nakadugtong sa pangalan ko.



May reklamo?"





Godspeed. :D








ah basta, i'm happy with my life now.. period.. weeeeeeeeh! :D







you maaaaaaaaaaaake me feeeeeeeeeel like iiiiiii.. i feel cloooooooser to the skyyyyyyy....




hekhekhek ;P